• Never marry the first person you sleep with.
• A man should keep his hands manicured and his shoes polished (not just the tops); it's the first thing a woman notices.
• Best way to learn a language is in bed.
• If a man must smoke, a pipe is more attractive.
• Chewing gum is the most unfeminine habit a woman could have.
• Sex is 80 percent of a relationship.
• Everything goes in sex as long as it's consensual.
• Never try to match blue garments.
• A gentleman always uses his elbows.
• Only morons season their food before tasting it.
• "Grand Prix" should either be pronounced "Graw Pree" or "Grand Pricks".
• A gentleman only shakes the hand of a lady after she has proffered hers initially.
• A gentleman never actually kisses a lady's hand; he simply brings her hand in proximity to his lips as a gesture.
• A gentleman never shakes with a gloved hand.
• Circumcision makes it easier for a man to keep clean and diminishes the possibility of a premature orgasm.
• You only need the one hand to use your napkin or eat a sandwich.