CAVEAT HIPPOCRATES
posted on 2005-06-01

How many out there do not question the authority of the professional secretary/receptionist at the doctor's - that authoritarian pantologist with the composed countenance and stern confident voice? Hard to say 'boo' to such a peremptory representative when told that the nearest appointment available to have your broken nose looked at will be some time in
August................next year. Do I have a problem with these individuals? Don't think so!


A few weeks ago, I got an MRI. In Ireland standard operational procedure is to send the patient (layman) the photos, which would be undecipherable, and the report (results) to the physician. The day after I received these obscure facsimiles of my pelvis and spine I received an appointment card from my doctor's receptionist in the post.


Here's a typical example of how I handle these supercilious pencil pushers: the email I sent to my doctor's office in reply to this appointment.

Hello,



I am in receipt of your business card indicating a 9:15 appointment on the 1st of June.



Before leaving on my last and initial visit, I explained, in no uncertain terms, that I did not wish to break up my day and pay €90, simply to spend 3 minutes with the doctor to find out I have normal disk
deterioration for which nothing at the moment can remedy.


If, however, the results of my MRI indicate something of a more serious nature I should welcome the opportunity to discuss my case with the doctor at the appointed time.



Regards,




Willis Nash

Next day I found the following message on my answering machine.

'Mr Nash, an email from you came today. The results of your MRI show normal lower disk deterioration and your pelvic region is okay. So, we are canceling the June appointment. Should you want to make an
appointment, our number is.........'

Gee, only twice did I have to make my feelings known to get what I wanted. If you are in real pain and some receptionist tries to schedule you so your suffering continues longer than 24 hours; you just shake her up and make her listen to some reality. Just keep on insisting and raising your voice. If you have to call back, do it; only say 'I want to speak to the person who hired you.' And don't let them get away with those final appointments where they give you 3 minutes, pat you on the back, and tell you to pay the receptionist on your way out. They are there to help you not just help themselves to your hard earned time and
money.



Finally, since I'm on a roll here, I'd like to mention that dentists can be as greedy as any other physician, e.g., I grind my teeth while asleep; so I needed a splint. My dentist on Patrick's Hill, Cork, told me they were expensive and he would charge me €510. Couldn't figure out how he arrived at the extra €10 till after telling him I was going to look into it before committing then going to the Cork University Dental Hospital where they only charge lab fees. The lab fees were €110 for a new splint. This greedy bastard of a dentist was going to charge a cool extra €400 for 15 minutes work taking my impression and posting it off to the same lab.



I used to like this erstwhile dentist as he is an affable fellow; so, it just goes to show how many fellow human beings are willing to smile as they greedily pocket your money.

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